"MARRIAGE HAS THE POWER TO SET THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE AS A WHOLE. IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS STRONG, EVEN IF ALL THE CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR LIFE AROUND YOU ARE FILLED WITH TROUBLE AND WEAKNESS, IT WON'T MATTER. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO MOVE OUT INTO THE WORLD IN STRENGTH." -TIMOTHY KELLER, THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE
You may be wondering how and why this post pertains to the MillennialFashionista platform. And, if you are asking this, I don’t blame you—the question is legitimate. So, here it is… Being a “MillennialFashionista” transcends every area of life, including our relationships. Although this is a marriage post, I believe the wisdom offered here can be applied to all relationships; this article will add value to all millennials—single and married, alike.
Parker and I are nearing our two-year anniversary (how time flies!) and we have learned so much about marriage, each other, and what sacrifice means. Each day, we are learning and growing deeper in love—it truly gets better with time. Is it hard? Yes. But, it is oh, so worth it.
Often times, marriages will go through seasons, and those “seasons” may last for days, weeks, or even years. Even though Parker and I have only been married for a mere two years, our marriage has also been through seasons; yet, we have been blessed with the best spiritual mentors who have taught us how to deal with each coming season with love and grace. Sometimes, these seasons can be categorized into ups or downs. The downs can be trying, but they can be used as times of growth for the marriage. All too often, during these trying seasons, you hear spouses complain about what they are “feeling.” You’ll hear, “I feel *insert highly emotional response*.” We cannot determine the success or worth of our marriage (or any other relationship, for that matter) based upon our momentary emotions. Christ did not go to the cross happily and care-free, He quite literally had the weight of the world on His shoulders—He chose to die on the cross, despite our disobedience and betrayal. Tim Keller states it beautifully: “[H]e was in agony, and He looked down at us - denying him, abandoning him, and betraying him - and in the greatest act of love in history, He STAYED. He said, ‘Father, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing.’ He loved us, not because we were lovely to Him, but to make us lovely. That is why I am going to love my spouse. Speak to your heart like that, and then fulfill the promises you made on your wedding day.”
In the end, emotions are fleeting. We need to bring commitment back into our world. We need to bring back respect for marriage. As my Constitutional Law professor stated, “We have taken an institution that mirrors Christ’s love for us and made it about personal convenience.” To our detriment, our society has lost respect for marriage. This societal decline can be observed in no-fault divorce, the legalization of gay marriage, and loose sexual standards. All this has been accepted in the name of “independence” and “civil rights.” We are so quick to do away with this scared covenant, just as society is so quick to do away with God. It’s as if we can’t allow the sacredness of marriage to stand because it reminds us too much of Christ’s love for us.
We have all fallen short of God’s glory, but marriage is the closest we can get to understanding His love and sacrifice for us. It is my greatest joy to walk side-by-side with my husband, laughing through the highs and growing through the lows. These last two years have been the best of my life, and I know it will only get better with each passing year—growing deeper in love with each other and, most importantly, with Christ.